You Deserve More Love, Not Less
I just finished Matt Kahn’s Whatever Arises, Love That Course on Audible. He narrates it himself and he speaks slowly and deliberately. I think he was a chapter in before he explained the reason he speaks that way. It has to do with breathing more deeply and honoring the space between words. He noted that people mirror each other’s energy, and often end up breathing shallowly, high in the chest, which increases tension and anxiety and decreases the ability to listen. Breathing deeply helps us to open up our heart chakras and listen deeply to our inner child, which is necessary for healing to begin. I noticed the course is also available on the Libby library app, and I highly recommend it…listening to it, if you can, but he does have a book. by the same title if you prefer paper and ink. It’s an effective way to “do the work” of healing yourself and all those deep hurts that can fester and haunt us well into our adult lives.
Kahn starts with a lot of “I love yous”. It’s uncomfortable to tell ourselves I love you, I think because it feels “undeserved”. But the truth is, when we learn to truly love ourselves, that deep hurt can begin to heal. It’s going back to our inner child who didn’t feel loved at certain times for whatever reason, logical or not. Remember, children don’t have the world view we adults do, and hurts happen when a need is sought out and not met. If the need is merely to be seen, a child will change tactics and do what they have to to get that need met…at this point, being seen is the goal, and a tantrum ensues, bringing negative attention, or words (or worse) and shame becomes part of the equation. Adults don’t mean to do this to children and children don’t know better, but what this means is that in order to heal our deepest wounds, we need to go back to that place in our psyche that still hurts and give it love. This is why Matt Kahn works so hard to help us KNOW that we deserve more love, not less. By envisioning that little kid within ourself who was desperate for attention…or love…or help…and instead got judgment or shame or chastisement, -and consciously loving them fully, as someone worthy of love and attention, every time we act in a less than favorable way, we LOVE ourselves back into health.
So for a completely random example that has nothing to do with my experience at an airport which shall remain nameless; I’m in one line and sent to another line. The lady who is on the other side of the help desk looks at me with disdain and irritation when I ask my question. I feel angry at all the inconvenience and lack of help, smattered with negative attitudes, and I choose to give that woman a piece of my mind which results in the two of us feeling worse as I walk away. I have no peace or charity to extend to her, and who is the problem at this point? Me! I’m the one who lost it…and why did I lose my composure? I lost my composure because of an unhealed wound within myself. My inner-self knows that she had no personal beef with me, she was consistently uncaring and unkind to everyone that faced her from the queue (careful Mar- you’re getting snarky!)…those are her inner-demons. In order to heal MY inner demons, I needed to give myself more love, not less. “Margaret, I love the little girl in you who wanted to be seen as worthy of help and worthy of an extra minute of kindness. You are worthy. You are special.” When I take a deep breath, open my heart chakra, and acknowledge my own hurt and send it love, I get what I was looking for as a child. Then, as an adult, I’m able to exist amidst all sorts of people acting in the unpleasantness of their unhealed wounds without getting triggered to add to the negativity.
That’s the key…When we love those parts of us that have been starving for love since childhood, we are able to breath easier, to breathe deeper. Inhaling deep into our diaphragm allows us to open our heart chakras and pour out love. We are able to see that we are all ONE. Like a sea anemone, we may seem like a bunch of individuals, but we are all one at the center, and what we do for our own well-being affects the well being of the whole.
Angels want us to really KNOW this and practice this. No more “I’m so stupid.” or “Isn’t this just like me?”. Clear, cancel, and release all that. LOVE the part of you that has needed and deserved love the whole time. You are worthy. You are enough. You are safe. Love all those pieces of you. Stop putting yourself down. You deserve more love, not less. And, when we can give ourselves more love, we can more freely share that love with everyone.
We are all works in progress. Give yourself grace today.
Peace, My Friends!
I love you!
Margaret Rose
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